Bagong Tab

Patawad na po, maling tab po ang nabuksan niyo.

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GRABE. TANG INA PO.
HINDI KO KINAYA ANG MAKITA ANG PICTIRE NA ITO SA LAPTOP SCREEN KO NA LABIN-LIMANG INCHES KALAKI.
PUCHA. ANG SAKIT PO SA HEART. GRAAAAABE
KAHIT ALAM KONG MEDYO SOBRANG BUMENTA YUNG COUPLE NA ITO TULAD NG NARAMDAMAN KO KINA GUI GUI AT TAECYON PERO PUCHA TALAGA PO WO SAGAD TO THE SOUL OF MYSELF SOBRANG MISS KO SILA GRABE I CANNOT TAKE THIS BAKIT PO KASI PO AKO NANOOD PO NG WE GOT MARRIED PO OMAYGSH PO.
HAY.
MY HEART.
MUCH PAIN.
MUCH ACHE.
AS IN.
GRABE.
TALAGA.
HAY.
ILOVEYOU GUYS.

GRABE. TANG INA PO.

HINDI KO KINAYA ANG MAKITA ANG PICTIRE NA ITO SA LAPTOP SCREEN KO NA LABIN-LIMANG INCHES KALAKI.

PUCHA. ANG SAKIT PO SA HEART. GRAAAAABE

KAHIT ALAM KONG MEDYO SOBRANG BUMENTA YUNG COUPLE NA ITO TULAD NG NARAMDAMAN KO KINA GUI GUI AT TAECYON PERO PUCHA TALAGA PO WO SAGAD TO THE SOUL OF MYSELF SOBRANG MISS KO SILA GRABE I CANNOT TAKE THIS BAKIT PO KASI PO AKO NANOOD PO NG WE GOT MARRIED PO OMAYGSH PO.

HAY.

MY HEART.

MUCH PAIN.

MUCH ACHE.

AS IN.

GRABE.

TALAGA.

HAY.

ILOVEYOU GUYS.

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can i just cry i feel so unpretty

like serious

crying the hell out of my eyeballs to make me look uglier

i just look at my legs them bam! Hairy legs forevs


super low self esteem dont even tell me otherwise bc if you dont have the same hairy legs as me im not believing u

I’m ugly end of convo btches


will never get to wear shorts dresses etc etc etc

I MEAN CAN I JUST HAVE MEN SHIRTS AND JEANS AND SLIPPERS/SHOES FOREVER?????

JUST BC IM A GURL U EXPECT ME TO BE DRESSY AND GIRLY AND FUN AND PRETTY LOOKING

IM SORRY IM NOT PRETTY GASH


UGLY UGLY PERSON

IM DONT EVEN WANT TO BUY YOUR ATTENTION GEEZ

can i just be comfortable at the thought that no one will ever just like me…

i cant be girly bc first off : hairy legs. im sorry thats it.


there is more than that but if no one can pass through hairy legs i dont know anyone who can

just ugly really

ugly person

There.

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I don;t know. I feel… bad..

I just suddenly realized na yung crush ko, impossible na maging kami. Aw. Alam ko anman di niya ko gusto eh. Kainis. Iyak na ko.

I will never share hot choco with marshmallows with you.

WOW. creepy. Sad. Aw. This is….. egh.

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i feel like i’m not even working hard enough. and yet there’s so many blessings.

like.

thank you.

but.

why.

it’s just..

i’m supposed to compensate for all these things right

i just

feel 

bad

that’s all.

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Hindi kasi ako crush ng crush ko.

Ang sakit.

Sometimes I wish I was someone else.

Someone prettier.

Someone cooler.

Maybe someone who can play basketball.

Maybe someone who can sing.

Or even strum a guitar.

I don’t know.

It’s like everyone else deserves someone better.

And I was never better.

I feel like, I could just be this tiny part of each and everyone’s life out there.

But never the one.

Never the one who’s good enough

Never the one who would take a person’s second glimpse.

Or a person’s time for another cup of coffee.

Everyone is just so much cooler and prettier and better and awesome and good and nice and lovely and just right and….

I’m just hurting  myself.

You make me feel low.

I hate myself.

I hate this.

I’m sorry.

I’ll stop.

ok.

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MAGMUMURA LANG AKO NG BAHAGYA

May crush ako.

Putangina.

Yung crush ko, feelingera lang talaga ako, pero crush niya rin kaya ako?

Tangina.

Actually, kung iisipin ko hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ko siya crush.

POTA.

LANDI KO.

Kasi dati, wala naman akong paki alam sa kanya.

TAPOS NGAYON KAPAG NANDYAN SIYA NAIILANG AKO NA PARANG TANGA.

TANGA.

BADTRIP.

Naiilang tuloy ako sa kanya.

Fucker.

Hindi naman ako chicks para pansinin niya.

Baka nga mas chicks pa yung crush ko kaysa sa akin.

ALAM KONG PANGET AKO SA PANINGIN MO.

Pero tangina.

Bakit ba kita crush.

AUGH.

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I’m tired of people stating their side in all these scenarios and it feels like people shoving things over things over things over things in my face and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and seriously, I don’t know anymore. I don’t know who to trust, if people are just playing mind games, like what if they’re all in it and I’m the one who’s tagged? If you know… It’s just really tiring. 

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and I want to go to that Mcklemore and Ryan Lewis concert, but it’s to expensive???????? Like… hmm.. I’m really hungry

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tangina, gusto ko lang magmura. SORRY NA. pero kingina talaga. YUNG CRUSH KO KASI. ALAM KO NAMANG HINDI NIYA AKO CRUSH EH, TAPOS ANG ASSUMING KO LANG NAKAKA BADTRIP. BAKIT KO KASI SIYA CRUSH TANGINA GRABE. AYOKO NA TALAGA. LUMALALA NA AKO. WAHO KO. TNAGINA. AYOKO NA MAG CRUSH. ANG PANGET KO. NAPAKA KAPAL TALAGA NG MUUKHA KO. HINDI NIYA AKO CRUSH. WAAAAH.

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It’s been so long since I last had a good night’s sleep. I may not have eaten any dinner tonight.. I may have felt selfish and rude towards my friends for leaving me out on dinner unintended today.. I may have questioned myself a million times again.. I may have made a walk to the toilet and closed the door and slid my back slowly against the cold blue tiles on the wall as I hit the floor crying again… I may have talked myself out of small unimportant things again.. I may have felt hungry for the third time now.. I may have procrastinated and got stressed over school work again.. I may don’t know what’s happening around me.. I may not know anything at all.. but for as long as I keep my feet on the ground, thank the Lord everyday, from the moment I wake up to the last moments of awareness before I let my body surrender to little amounts of sleep, I can keep going, and I will keep living with Him.

I can do this. I will do this with You. I love You. Thank You, Lord.

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I still don’t know why I have 2 followers but oh well.

HI.

Welcome to my rant page. Feel free to unfollow because OKAY THIS IS A PERSONAL RANT PAGE ALERT ALERT. But if you decided to stay then

HI :’”>

Anyway.

I am having a very inconvenient time to have a small emotional breakdown. Tomorrow will be the day that I will be watching Fall Out Boy live and I have Patron standing tickets and this is my first time to mosh in the standing section. Good luck, Chuck Talylor shoes. Shall you provide me with good feet protection, thank you. MOSH. I have always wanted this. ALWAYS. Ever since I first laid eyes on a mosh. Haha.

NEVERTHELESS. I am crying. It has been months/weeks ever since I last cried. I don’t know, it felt…too familiar that it was like good nostalgia.

It all started when, I lost that ear bud thingy majig on my friend’s earphones. I LOST IT. I CANNOT FIND IT ANYWHERE, THAT LITTLE PURPLE EAR BUD DID MY EAR TOOK IT SOMEWHERE ELSE OMG I SWEAR I STILL HAVE IT AND AS I PULLED THE WHOLE LOT OUT OF MY JACKET POCKET, IT’S GONE. One pair is gone. Totally ruined my night, and I was already going home, my classes just ended and this happens. He left already, my friend, so I didn’t get to take it back, but I didn’t plan it take it back. I AM ABSOLUTELY FRUSTRATED LOOSING THAT SHIZ BECAUSE (1) THE EARPHONES IS SO EXPENSIVE AND (2) THOSE EARPHONES HAS BEEN WITH HIM SINCE LIKE FIVE-EVAH AND I DO THIS TO HIM NOW???????? He is going to hate me, never let me borrow anything and now he has no more proper earphones. ALL BECAUSE OF ME.

And I have to go home. FRUSTRATED. And as I lay next to my friend, on her bed I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s so…..IT’S GONE OMG!!!! and it’s not like I can just replace those ear buds. Skull Candy has this specific size with them and I have my pair of SC but mine’s like off the color to his and it’s like too big…but anyway. I just stared and I started to get sad and teary….and the next thing I know was I was sitting on cold blue tiles, closed door, crying my lungs out without a sound.

I keep missing things. I’m just so stupid. Shameless.

For the next few minutes, that’s all I did. Tell myself how stupid I was and a flashback of what happened to me and my Dad’s necklace gift. All the stupidity and tears and gasps and air were battling there way in and out of my system. I had to pause, look at the verses taped at the back of the door and heave big sighs. Lord God, uplift me, I thought. Re-read Isaiah 41:10. SIGH.

Then I had t go back, and well unfortunately my eyes were really really red. I had to wait for awhile then, my dorm mates invited me for dinner. When we got back, I was talking to my friend on twitter. The result of that conversation was that she couldn’t come to the concert, and she did think I wasn’t coming, something like that, but I just entirely feel bad because somehow i feel like it’s my fault again. I feel extra bad that I make her jealous because I’m coming and she’s not. I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD UGH.

The other person that I was talking to on Twitter, was I told her I got a different ticket from her. She had Upper box B and I had to tell her I got Patron because she asked me. OF COURSE I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD, because back then when I wasn’t sure I told her I might get same tickets as her. BUT BECAUSE I WASN’T SURE. OHMAN I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD I FEEL BAD UGH.

And then there’s my dorm mates. Actually I have said once that I might go home at early morning, but I didn’t mention anything about a concert. And then I had to say it again to one of them (because the other was already sleeping)  and it was awkward for me. I don’t know how she felt when I told her that, but…. I JUST DON’T KNOW.

OMG JULICE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME UGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I AM SUCH AN ANNOYING PERSON UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WHY AM I LIKE THIS I’M SO STUPID I CANNOT DO ANYTHING RIGHT I’M SO STUPID AND ANNOYING AND JUST UGHHH!!!!

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Okay. I’m feeling a little better now. I told my friend, and classmate as well whom I borrowed the Rotring from that got lost and when I read my reply I sounded stupid and the situation sounded not that bad as well. I’m listening to Soul Punk and it’s helping a lot. I just really have serious issues with losing special things.

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I’m so pissed like I can cry right now but I really tried and I’m just so angry and confused and yes I stopped posting because I have been busy and I don’t find the time to type things in anymore. Basically, I needed to check on my old works from last year to check what my professor’s name is and how it is spelled and I end up finding out that my classmates Rotring is noW GONE under my bed along with all the tracing paper works that I did my whole first year of college. ALL MY FUCKING TRACING PAPER WITH ALL THE SHIT THAT I DID SO HARD WORKED SO HARD AT NIGHT UNTIL MORNING THAT I CHERISHED SO FUCKING MUCH FUCKING SHIT EVERYTHING’S GONE WHERE THE FUCK WOULD IT BE THAT SHIT IS SO HEAVY AND I JUST DON’T KNOW ANY MORE IT’S GONE AND i’M CRYING RIGHT NOW WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY WORK WHO THE FUCK WOULD WANT TO GET ALL MY WORK JUST WHAT THE FUCK I CAN’T IMAGINE IT’S GONE I DIDN’T BURN IT I DIDN’T THROW THEM AWAY WHY WOULD I DO THAT I DON’T GET IT I’M SO SAD I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING MY ASSIGNMENT BUT I CAN’T AND I’M ALONE IN THE ROOM AND I DON’T WANT TO TEXT SOMEONE ABOUT THIS SHIT I JUST WANT ALL OF IT BACK I DON’T WANT ANYTHING GONE ANYMORE PLEASE